VOTE | 38 fans

Script VO 4*13

1
00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:19,228
You guys see that thing?

2
00:00:19,394 --> 00:00:24,274
Colin? Maggie? Remmy?

3
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:28,070
What's going on?

4
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:32,574
It's got you!

5
00:00:32,616 --> 00:00:34,701
You know, brother,
it occurred to me

6
00:00:34,785 --> 00:00:37,246
that if we threw a large mattress
into the wormhole ahead of us,

7
00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:40,040
it might not hurt so much
when we land.

8
00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:44,002
Of course, we might
miss the mattress.

9
00:00:44,086 --> 00:00:46,129
<i>That's right, "it's"
Lipschitz Live! Hello?</i>

10
00:00:48,423 --> 00:00:50,384
<i>Quinn? "This portion of"
Lipschitz Live is brought to you by</i>

11
00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:52,761
<i>Maggie?
Body Slam Malt Liquor.</i>

12
00:00:52,803 --> 00:00:54,304
<i>Rembrandt? For that special occasion,</i>

13
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,139
<i>or for no reason at all.</i>

14
00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:59,309
<i>Body Slam is gonna
take you down.</i>

15
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,728
<i>That's Body Slam,
my friends.</i>

16
00:01:01,812 --> 00:01:03,146
<i>Hi. It's not just for breakfast anymore.</i>

17
00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:04,857
Yeah, excuse me,
I was just wondering...

18
00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:14,366
Q- Ball!

19
00:01:25,836 --> 00:01:29,047
<i>What if you found a
portal to a parallel universe?</i>

20
00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:32,467
<i>What if you could slide into
a thousand different worlds</i>

21
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:37,264
<i>where it's the same year
and you're the same person,</i>

22
00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:39,641
<i>but everything else
is different?</i>

23
00:01:39,683 --> 00:01:42,436
<i>And what if you can't
find your way home?</i>

24
00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:19,181
Come on.

25
00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:28,899
I got it.

26
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:32,611
Q-Ball
, you and I are gonna have one serious talk!

27
00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:35,239
Save it. They're not here. Come on.

28
00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:38,158
What do you mean,
they're not there?

29
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:43,497
We must've
got separated.

30
00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:47,876
I got you, Remmy.

31
00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:03,809
Yikes.

32
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:10,399
Sweet Mary and Joseph.
We must be a mile high.

33
00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:14,111
Somehow, this has
to be Quinn's fault.

34
00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:16,697
<i>Okay, Lipschitz
Live. We're back on the air.</i>

35
00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:20,659
<i>There's been an increase in the number
of metal implants found in people heads.</i>

36
00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:23,829
<i>Proof of alien abduction,
or dental malpractice?</i>

37
00:03:24,663 --> 00:03:26,039
<i>You be the judge.</i>

38
00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:29,334
<i>Folks just like you and me,
who claim to have been abducted.</i>

39
00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:32,880
<i>Remote viewers,
out-of-body travelers,</i>

40
00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:37,426
<i>and a man who claims that he is
the reincarnation of Nostradamus,</i>

41
00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:42,764
<i>but swears that he doesn't
remember predicting anything.</i>

42
00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:46,101
<i>And all week, right here "on" Lipschitz
Live, "we're" gonna be examining...</i>

43
00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:48,270
Two hours, fifty minutes.
People, where are you?

44
00:03:48,312 --> 00:03:51,940
<i>Aliens, from
somewhere out there.</i>

45
00:03:52,024 --> 00:03:54,067
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Controls.

46
00:03:54,151 --> 00:03:55,444
Yeah.

47
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:56,945
Push one.

48
00:03:57,446 --> 00:03:58,822
Why I gotta push it?

49
00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:01,074
'Cause you're the man.
Act like one!

50
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,118
Jiminy cricket.

51
00:04:03,452 --> 00:04:06,163
Okay, look, we've got red
and black here, right?

52
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,457
Red means stop.
We're stopped.

53
00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:10,042
Hey, hey, hey.
What?

54
00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:13,712
Colin! Colin!

55
00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:19,593
Colin!

56
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:21,470
Maggie, Maggie.

57
00:04:21,512 --> 00:04:22,513
What?

58
00:04:22,638 --> 00:04:25,766
I'm looking at freaking seagulls
up here. He can't hear you.

59
00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:28,977
Well, push something so we can go up
or down! We've gotta get to get to him.

60
00:04:29,061 --> 00:04:30,938
All right, whatever.

61
00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:40,822
<i>Yes, folks, thanks to you, Lipschitz
Live "is now" the most watched show</i>

62
00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:43,700
<i>in the history of television.</i>

63
00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:47,579
<i>Beamed to our armed forces abroad, to
the research teams at the South Pole,</i>

64
00:04:47,663 --> 00:04:52,125
<i>and to those hard-working guys
aboard the crippled space station MIR,</i>

65
00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:56,088
<i>Lipschitz Live sets the
pace for our world today.</i>

66
00:04:57,089 --> 00:05:00,968
<i>My next guest has a pug who
predicted the big LA quake</i>

67
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:03,887
<i>and the results
of last year's Rose Bowl.</i>

68
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:06,014
<i>Hi, how are you? Welcome.
Thank you.</i>

69
00:05:06,098 --> 00:05:07,683
<i>The dog's name is...</i>

70
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:09,309
Excuse me...

71
00:05:09,393 --> 00:05:10,811
Can't you see
this is important?

72
00:05:11,562 --> 00:05:14,106
The girl's got
a psychic dog.

73
00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:15,399
I'd like a room.

74
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:17,067
We're booked up.

75
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,528
Booked up? This place
is never booked up.

76
00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:20,779
Big corporate wedding.

77
00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:25,200
<i>Well, what about the
quake? How did she predict the quake?</i>

78
00:05:25,242 --> 00:05:27,244
Fine. Then I'd like to leave
a message for my friends.

79
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:30,038
<i>She leaped up
on the coffee table again...</i>

80
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:31,373
Do you have a room?

81
00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:32,791
Not according to you.

82
00:05:32,875 --> 00:05:34,293
Then you can't
leave a message.

83
00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:35,961
Why not?

84
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:39,798
We're a full-service hotel,
but only for guests.

85
00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:42,217
No guest, no service.

86
00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:45,387
Look, I have an agreement with my
friends that if we ever get separated,

87
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:48,056
we meet here. It's kind of important.

88
00:05:52,603 --> 00:05:55,397
Fine. I'll be at the
bar, if you need me.

89
00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:02,571
You think the others
made it through?

90
00:06:02,613 --> 00:06:03,906
Who can tell?

91
00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:06,658
I mean, this whole trip is
like no slide we ever had.

92
00:06:06,742 --> 00:06:08,660
You ever get
separated before?

93
00:06:08,744 --> 00:06:10,579
Yeah, but not like this.

94
00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:12,414
The only other time
we ever had a problem

95
00:06:12,498 --> 00:06:14,666
was when the wormhole
was struck by lightning.

96
00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:15,959
Oh, man.

97
00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:18,420
You think Colin was making
his way toward the Chandler?

98
00:06:18,462 --> 00:06:21,882
It looked like it. I just hope
we didn't miss the slide window.

99
00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:27,721
<i>"Okay,"
Lipschitz Live is back on the air.</i>

100
00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:30,390
<i>This just in. In Los
Angeles, the bowling ball...</i>

101
00:06:30,641 --> 00:06:33,060
Hi. I'll take a beer.
The cheap kind.

102
00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:36,480
<i>This time, the scene was the
Richard Nixon Freeway in Yorba Linda.</i>

103
00:06:36,522 --> 00:06:37,689
An hour and 45.

104
00:06:37,773 --> 00:06:40,734
Come on, guys,
where are you?

105
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:41,944
<i>...off the back end
of flatbed truck...</i>

106
00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:44,112
Thanks.

107
00:06:44,196 --> 00:06:46,448
People seem
to really like that guy.

108
00:06:46,532 --> 00:06:49,618
Are you kidding me?
Man, Barry Lipschitz rules.

109
00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:51,245
His show is
the only show.

110
00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:52,788
Literally.

111
00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:55,707
<i>... but we've been in touch
with his agent. And if and when...</i>

112
00:06:55,791 --> 00:06:57,626
Now, don't tell me
you don't watch it.

113
00:06:57,668 --> 00:06:59,002
<i>...we're gonna have it
right here on...</i>

114
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:01,380
Well, I travel
around a lot.

115
00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:03,590
I mostly read.

116
00:07:03,674 --> 00:07:04,925
Books?

117
00:07:05,384 --> 00:07:06,385
Yeah.

118
00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:08,345
See, that's the trouble with
you kids today, you know that?

119
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,764
You read too damn much, you
don't watch enough television.

120
00:07:10,848 --> 00:07:14,184
And how do you expect to keep informed
on what's going on in the world?

121
00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:17,563
Books. Oh, that's two bucks for the beer

122
00:07:17,646 --> 00:07:20,357
and 15 for
the drinker's insurance.

123
00:07:21,191 --> 00:07:22,526
<i>We've got Cletis Shepherd.</i>

124
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:25,487
Could I just charge that
to Millenia Media?

125
00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:28,198
<i>...for being buried alive
in a six-by-four wooden box...</i>

126
00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:29,950
<i>Are you there,
Mr. Shepherd?</i>

127
00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:32,244
<i>The voices! The voices!</i>

128
00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:33,996
And I'd love
to see a menu.

129
00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:36,999
<i>No, no, no, Mr. Shepherd,
it's me. It's Barry Lipschitz.</i>

130
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,792
<i>Get out of my head!</i>

131
00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:04,610
That was delicious.
Thank you.

132
00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:10,073
Good. Wow, that's a pretty
fancy-shmancy clicker you got there.

133
00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:12,576
Excuse me? Get a load of this baby.

134
00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:17,539
Control capabilities include
TV, VCR, DVD and LD.

135
00:08:17,623 --> 00:08:21,210
Switchable between IR and EM bands at wide
or narrow beam settings at unlimited range.

136
00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:23,045
Ho-ho!

137
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:26,256
Well, your clicker's definitely
bigger than my clicker.

138
00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:28,717
And I say that without
a trace of male envy.

139
00:08:29,218 --> 00:08:30,552
Huh?

140
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,934
<i>Ready for
this Lipschitz news flash.</i>

141
00:08:37,059 --> 00:08:40,896
<i>A 10-year-old Webelos Scout in Ashland,
Kentucky was revealed today to be a clone.</i>

142
00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:45,025
Excuse me.

143
00:08:45,317 --> 00:08:46,485
Hey.

144
00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:49,488
Can't you see I'm in
the middle of this show?

145
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,950
Well, excuse me.
I thought you worked here.

146
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,618
I do.

147
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:58,413
Great. So, we would like a room, please.

148
00:08:58,497 --> 00:09:00,749
Oh, who wouldn't?

149
00:09:00,916 --> 00:09:03,627
Well, actually, we would like a suite.

150
00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:05,212
Sold out.

151
00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:06,755
Sold out?

152
00:09:06,839 --> 00:09:08,173
You're never sold out.

153
00:09:08,257 --> 00:09:11,593
People keep saying that,
but we are.

154
00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:13,929
No rooms, no suite.

155
00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:16,807
And we're running
out of ice.

156
00:09:17,808 --> 00:09:20,602
Okay, look, actually, we're
looking for some friends of ours.

157
00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:21,854
Oh, who isn't?

158
00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:24,940
Okay, they may already
have checked in.

159
00:09:25,107 --> 00:09:26,483
Could you please
check the register?

160
00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:28,485
We're looking for
a Quinn Mallory.

161
00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:30,904
<i>"Okay," Lipschitz
Live is back on the air.</i>

162
00:09:30,988 --> 00:09:33,949
No, no, no.
There's a Colin Mallory.

163
00:09:33,991 --> 00:09:36,118
Yeah. Room 412.

164
00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:38,787
You can use
the phone over there.

165
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:40,914
Great.
All right.

166
00:09:40,998 --> 00:09:43,125
Thanks for, you know, whatever.
Okay. All right. All right.

167
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:47,379
Oh, man.

168
00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:51,758
This guy is...
He's crazy, man!

169
00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:56,263
All in the way
you hold your mouth.

170
00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:58,891
A few more slides, and
we'll all be master burglars.

171
00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:03,312
Did Colin have time
to eat Chinese?

172
00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:09,151
What a trip. I just got here,
and I'm ready for the slide.

173
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:11,653
And what is with
this television stuff?

174
00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:14,781
Nobody seems to be doing anything
but watching this Lipschitz guy.

175
00:10:14,865 --> 00:10:17,159
When you saw Colin,
did he have a suitcase?

176
00:10:17,201 --> 00:10:18,535
Not that I remember.

177
00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:20,329
Must've just bought it.

178
00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:23,123
Yeah, but how did he have time
to get this stuff monogrammed?

179
00:10:23,207 --> 00:10:24,249
I don't know.

180
00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:26,251
This is expensive, too.

181
00:10:26,335 --> 00:10:28,629
Yeah. Did he have this much cash?

182
00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:32,549
No. He's still keeping up his
taste for high-volume outfits.

183
00:10:38,096 --> 00:10:40,766
<i>Uh-oh, hold it.
Here's a news flash.</i>

184
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:44,269
<i>They've found another Bat Boy
on Long Island. But right now...</i>

185
00:10:44,353 --> 00:10:47,648
Hi, I'm... Look, we've got no rooms,

186
00:10:47,731 --> 00:10:50,192
we've got no suites,
we've got no ice,

187
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:52,611
and I haven't seen
any of your friends.

188
00:10:52,694 --> 00:10:56,323
And, no, you can't
leave a message for them.

189
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:58,158
Thank you.
All right.

190
00:11:05,707 --> 00:11:06,917
<i>We're back with Duane.</i>

191
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,920
<i>Do you get any grief
from the others?</i>

192
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,713
Let me ask you something.

193
00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:13,674
Go ahead. Call me Hal.
Hal? I'm Quinn.

194
00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:15,634
Nice to meet you.

195
00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:23,767
Say you got
separated from someone

196
00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:25,727
and you needed to
find them in a hurry.

197
00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:27,104
You expecting somebody?

198
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:30,607
Yeah, some friends of mine
and I got split up

199
00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:32,693
and we've got a plane
to catch very shortly.

200
00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:34,736
In 92 minutes to be exact.

201
00:11:34,778 --> 00:11:37,573
Well, you guys are kind of cutting it
a little bit short, don't you think?

202
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:42,035
Yes. I was wondering,
is there anywhere in town

203
00:11:42,119 --> 00:11:44,454
where people congregate?

204
00:11:44,538 --> 00:11:46,039
Center of town?

205
00:11:46,123 --> 00:11:49,168
Well, I kind of like to hang out
at this karaoke bar, you know.

206
00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:50,586
I go there a couple
of times a week.

207
00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:54,298
My friends say that my Neil
Diamond is not to be believed.

208
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:55,424
That's great.

209
00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:56,925
But that's really about the
only thing I can think of.

210
00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:59,136
I mean, everybody just kind of sits
around and watches old, you know,

211
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:01,555
Barry Lipschitz
on TV all day.

212
00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:03,765
Is that a man?

213
00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:05,434
I do believe that is a man.

214
00:12:05,517 --> 00:12:07,269
<i>Were you always
a cross-dresser, Duane?</i>

215
00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:08,854
<i>No, not until I started
working on a fishing boat.</i>

216
00:12:09,021 --> 00:12:10,606
<i>We'd go out for
long periods of time.</i>

217
00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:13,775
<i>It's just a way of bringing,
you know, a little touch of home</i>

218
00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:15,485
<i>to the boat, you know.</i>

219
00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:17,779
Those are some pretty shoes.
Hope my wife's not watching this.

220
00:12:17,863 --> 00:12:19,823
She'll probably want me
to buy them for her.

221
00:12:20,115 --> 00:12:22,075
<i>
All of you dressed up?</i>

222
00:12:24,328 --> 00:12:25,787
Colin!

223
00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:28,999
There you are, Look, we've
been chasing you for over an hour.

224
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,792
Hey, hey, don't touch
me. Leave me alone.

225
00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:31,919
What's spooking you?
What are you doing?

226
00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:33,462
What's your problem, Colin?

227
00:12:36,173 --> 00:12:37,508
Colin!

228
00:12:39,301 --> 00:12:40,928
Come on, let us through!
He's our friend.

229
00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:42,638
Excuse me, what's wrong with you people?

230
00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:46,683
Colin. Colin. Can we get
some help here, please?

231
00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:49,478
What are you doing
sitting around? Colin?

232
00:12:54,358 --> 00:12:56,860
All right, already!
What's with the cameras?

233
00:12:56,902 --> 00:12:59,530
<i>They're trying to get that $10,000
from "America's" Funniest Fatalities.</i>

234
00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:01,990
Come on, let's go. Let's
ride with him. Come on.

235
00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:07,996
<i>"Coming up on" Lipschitz Live, we're going to
meet a host of very interesting personalities</i>

236
00:13:08,038 --> 00:13:10,499
<i>from this world and beyond.</i>

237
00:13:10,541 --> 00:13:13,544
<i>Space aliens.
Inter-dimensional travelers.</i>

238
00:13:13,627 --> 00:13:16,630
<i>Are they really among us?
And if so, what do they want?</i>

239
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:22,010
<i>And aren't they an added burden to our
already weighted down welfare system?</i>

240
00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:24,972
<i>You want to find out, you
stay tuned "to" Lipschitz Live.</i>

241
00:13:25,055 --> 00:13:29,268
Hal, this Lipschitz guy, is
he really the only thing on TV?

242
00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:30,894
Yeah, pretty much.

243
00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:34,898
But, I mean, there's some, you
know, there's some educational stuff.

244
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:38,360
Oh, did you know that you can cut
your hair with a vacuum cleaner now?

245
00:13:38,402 --> 00:13:40,153
Tell me more about
this Lipschitz guy.

246
00:13:40,237 --> 00:13:43,031
Wow, you really are
out of the loop, aren't you?

247
00:13:43,073 --> 00:13:46,577
All right, well, let's see,
he got his name as a reporter

248
00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:48,245
for INM during
the war with Guam.

249
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:50,247
Which we, you know, we kicked
their butts, by the way.

250
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,291
You better believe it.
Damn Guamians.

251
00:13:52,374 --> 00:13:55,878
Anyhow, after the war,
INM merged with TBC.

252
00:13:55,961 --> 00:13:58,714
Now, Global bought TBC, and then
they merged that with UniMax,

253
00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:01,258
which, of course, that got
pulled into the Turnbull Group.

254
00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:03,385
And then that whole thing just
got swallowed up by General Comco,

255
00:14:03,427 --> 00:14:05,470
and then, well, that guy that
everybody thought was the Unabomber,

256
00:14:05,554 --> 00:14:07,639
he just went and bought
the whole shebang.

257
00:14:07,723 --> 00:14:09,641
And then, of course,
he made Lipschitz his star.

258
00:14:09,725 --> 00:14:11,935
I mean, everybody
watches him.

259
00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:15,439
Now, how would one go about
getting on "Lipschitz Live?"

260
00:14:15,564 --> 00:14:18,192
You got
a weird story to tell?

261
00:14:18,442 --> 00:14:19,484
Sort of.

262
00:14:19,568 --> 00:14:21,737
Well, you know, they just shoot in
a theater a few blocks from here.

263
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:24,406
It's just right
around the corner.

264
00:14:33,123 --> 00:14:35,292
It seems, once again,
you've been handed the reins,

265
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:39,129
and once again
you've disappointed me.

266
00:14:39,213 --> 00:14:42,424
It's not going to be
that easy this time, Colin.

267
00:14:42,633 --> 00:14:46,929
Like it or not, as my stepson, you
will live up to your obligations.

268
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:48,347
Stepson?

269
00:14:58,023 --> 00:15:02,653
When I married your mother, you became
heir-apparent to the Infinicorp dynasty.

270
00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:05,739
Now, I can't tell you how
important this whole transaction is.

271
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:08,659
No. Of course you don't.

272
00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:11,245
A great deal
hinges on you, son.

273
00:15:12,204 --> 00:15:17,668
Our merger with Millenia Media means
putting an end to 50 years of brutal warfare.

274
00:15:18,168 --> 00:15:20,629
War? 50 years?

275
00:15:21,839 --> 00:15:23,799
Have you been
drinking again, son?

276
00:15:23,882 --> 00:15:26,134
I've warned you
about that.

277
00:15:26,218 --> 00:15:28,846
Now, get dressed
and make me proud.

278
00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:32,599
Get dressed into what?

279
00:15:37,521 --> 00:15:39,064
Well, I guess
that answers that.

280
00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:52,077
Nice work, conning that nurse
with your Super Bowl tickets.

281
00:15:52,161 --> 00:15:55,122
Well, of course she won't be able to use
them to get into the game on this world,

282
00:15:55,205 --> 00:15:58,083
but it got us on this floor. How is he?

283
00:15:58,167 --> 00:16:00,669
No concussion,
no broken bones.

284
00:16:00,752 --> 00:16:03,422
He's mildly sedated,
but he'll be all right.

285
00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:05,340
Thank God for that.
We gotta get moving.

286
00:16:05,382 --> 00:16:07,259
Colin, wake up.

287
00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:09,344
Colin.

288
00:16:10,387 --> 00:16:12,723
Did he always
wear this jewelry?

289
00:16:13,891 --> 00:16:16,351
Must've gotten
that stuff on this world.

290
00:16:16,393 --> 00:16:18,770
Farm boy always
did like shiny things.

291
00:16:19,104 --> 00:16:20,689
Come on,
we gotta go, Colin.

292
00:16:20,731 --> 00:16:23,859
Huh? You a friend
of my father's?

293
00:16:23,942 --> 00:16:26,028
You sure there's
no concussion?

294
00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:28,697
No, Colin, come on.
We're your friends.

295
00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:30,532
Go get his clothes.

296
00:16:30,616 --> 00:16:32,868
Just how good of a friend
of mine are you, toots?

297
00:16:32,951 --> 00:16:33,952
Oh.

298
00:16:34,411 --> 00:16:36,622
Snap out of it, Colin.
We have to find Quinn.

299
00:16:36,705 --> 00:16:38,582
We don't know when
the next slide window is.

300
00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:41,168
Slide window. Right.
Whatever works.

301
00:16:44,338 --> 00:16:45,547
Here.

302
00:16:45,589 --> 00:16:47,758
Hey, thanks, homey.

303
00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:49,301
Hey, baby,

304
00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:51,720
I'm still a little groggy. Want
to help me on with those pants?

305
00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:05,108
But I'm perfect
for your show.

306
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:07,361
I told you, I've got
all the guests I need.

307
00:17:07,444 --> 00:17:09,738
Besides, your story, it
doesn't have any sex appeal.

308
00:17:09,821 --> 00:17:11,031
Bigger. Bigger hair.

309
00:17:11,114 --> 00:17:12,574
Sex appeal?

310
00:17:12,658 --> 00:17:15,994
Since cable died there's no market
for shows about scientific whiz kids

311
00:17:16,078 --> 00:17:17,996
who live in their parents'
basement and have no life.

312
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:19,790
I've battled androids,
I've met Elvis.

313
00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:22,125
I even met the female version of myself.

314
00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:24,503
Did you have sex with her?

315
00:17:26,421 --> 00:17:29,800
<i>The senator,
while denying he was drunk,</i>

316
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:33,220
<i>could not
explain his nudity.</i>

317
00:18:06,003 --> 00:18:08,964
Sign it.
Sign the book.

318
00:18:20,517 --> 00:18:22,019
You may sit down.

319
00:18:24,396 --> 00:18:27,858
What we have witnessed here
today is the beginning of the end.

320
00:18:27,900 --> 00:18:31,195
The conflict is over. No longer
will our efforts be hindered

321
00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:34,698
by destructive competition
or ruinous price wars.

322
00:18:35,032 --> 00:18:39,203
We can now all push forward
as one single corporation.

323
00:18:39,286 --> 00:18:43,790
And remember our motto, "Farmers
grow stuff, but we feed the masses. "

324
00:18:47,377 --> 00:18:49,463
The merger is complete.

325
00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:51,882
I now pronounce
you one husband,

326
00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:55,385
one wife, one family,

327
00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:57,012
one corporation.

328
00:18:58,889 --> 00:19:01,683
Congratulations, son.
You're married.

329
00:19:02,935 --> 00:19:04,520
Hey, Dave,
how about it, huh?

330
00:19:20,035 --> 00:19:22,204
<i>Welcome back,
ladies and gentlemen!</i>

331
00:19:22,371 --> 00:19:25,040
<i>And here he is,
the paragon of the airwaves,</i>

332
00:19:25,123 --> 00:19:27,000
<i>that titan of television,</i>

333
00:19:27,084 --> 00:19:29,711
<i>the most watched, admired
and awarded host</i>

334
00:19:29,795 --> 00:19:34,007
<i>in the history of worldwide
communications, Barry Lipschitz!</i>

335
00:19:43,934 --> 00:19:47,187
Lipschitz loves you!

336
00:19:53,694 --> 00:19:57,406
Too kind. You're
really too kind.

337
00:19:57,489 --> 00:20:01,034
My friends, and I take
that word very seriously,

338
00:20:02,077 --> 00:20:03,370
today we have
something special.

339
00:20:03,453 --> 00:20:05,455
Something more
than just a show.

340
00:20:05,539 --> 00:20:06,999
Something more than
just entertainment.

341
00:20:07,082 --> 00:20:10,460
Sure, we like to entertain,
we like to inform.

342
00:20:10,544 --> 00:20:12,045
But more than that,

343
00:20:12,129 --> 00:20:15,424
most of all, what we really
like to do is contribute

344
00:20:15,591 --> 00:20:20,304
to the education of what I believe
is the most knowledgeable audience

345
00:20:20,429 --> 00:20:22,097
in the world
today! You!

346
00:20:28,562 --> 00:20:30,856
They walk among us.
Or do they?

347
00:20:31,815 --> 00:20:34,109
Today, we're going to
be talking about aliens,

348
00:20:34,193 --> 00:20:36,695
people from other planets,
other worlds.

349
00:20:36,778 --> 00:20:39,990
Are they here? And if
so, what do they want,

350
00:20:40,073 --> 00:20:42,493
and what do they
have to tell us?

351
00:20:42,618 --> 00:20:45,954
Well, we're hoping that our two guests
on the show, ladies and gentlemen,

352
00:20:45,996 --> 00:20:48,582
will clear up the answers
to those questions.

353
00:20:48,665 --> 00:20:50,250
First, I'd like you
to meet and greet,

354
00:20:50,334 --> 00:20:54,463
on live, on Lipschitz, Mr.
Arnold Potts! Bring him on!

355
00:21:07,684 --> 00:21:10,312
Be self-reliant
and multiply.

356
00:21:10,354 --> 00:21:11,438
Well, thanks, Arnie.
Same to you.

357
00:21:11,522 --> 00:21:12,606
Sit down
and get a life.

358
00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:17,945
Okay, Mr. Potts' claim, let me
see if I get this straight, folks,

359
00:21:18,403 --> 00:21:23,367
Mr. Potts' claim is that
he is not really here at all.

360
00:21:23,742 --> 00:21:26,495
I am not here at all.

361
00:21:28,914 --> 00:21:33,001
Ooh. He is
a pan-galactic traveler

362
00:21:33,252 --> 00:21:36,880
who can project his image
anywhere in the cosmos.

363
00:21:36,964 --> 00:21:39,174
Good. Love the suit.

364
00:21:39,216 --> 00:21:43,929
Okay, our next guest, bring him on with
a warm welcome, is Mr. Quinn Mallory,

365
00:21:44,012 --> 00:21:46,849
ladies and gentlemen!
Come on, come on.

366
00:21:46,932 --> 00:21:49,852
Oh, man, look, look! I know
that guy! I was rude to him!

367
00:21:59,778 --> 00:22:03,532
I'll be damned. He's a
good friend of mine. Yeah.

368
00:22:04,199 --> 00:22:08,704
Now, Mr. Mallory is a
slider. Is that right?

369
00:22:08,745 --> 00:22:12,708
He slides between
those parallel dimensions.

370
00:22:12,749 --> 00:22:14,501
Is that right?

371
00:22:14,585 --> 00:22:16,211
Yes, Barry.

372
00:22:16,336 --> 00:22:18,547
The guy is
an obvious phony.

373
00:22:18,589 --> 00:22:21,091
Well, why do you
say that, Potts?

374
00:22:21,133 --> 00:22:24,178
He's a media grabber. He's in
it for the 15 minutes of fame.

375
00:22:24,261 --> 00:22:27,139
Look at him. He doesn't
even have an outfit.

376
00:22:27,472 --> 00:22:30,684
Uh-huh. Hey.
Yep, yep.

377
00:22:30,767 --> 00:22:33,687
Come on, he's got a point
there. He has a point.

378
00:22:33,770 --> 00:22:36,857
Mr. Mallory, tell me,
when you make these

379
00:22:36,940 --> 00:22:41,528
slides between
parallel dimensions,

380
00:22:41,612 --> 00:22:44,323
do you slide
in your street clothes?

381
00:22:46,533 --> 00:22:48,076
Yes.

382
00:22:48,494 --> 00:22:53,790
I've made calculations that prove
conclusively that the G-forces generated

383
00:22:53,874 --> 00:22:58,128
by trans-dimensional traverse would
cause the subject's eyes to explode.

384
00:22:58,212 --> 00:23:00,923
That is why
I wear these.

385
00:23:02,216 --> 00:23:05,219
All right! All right!

386
00:23:35,457 --> 00:23:37,543
Love the suit.

387
00:23:37,626 --> 00:23:39,169
So tell us why you're here, Mr. Mallory.

388
00:23:40,546 --> 00:23:44,633
Well, Barry, it's
kind of like this.

389
00:23:44,716 --> 00:23:46,969
Colin! Maggie! Remmy!

390
00:23:47,010 --> 00:23:49,221
<i>Come on down to KKRP!
We slide in an hour!</i>

391
00:23:49,304 --> 00:23:52,516
<i>What is he doing?
One hour! We slide!</i>

392
00:23:52,599 --> 00:23:55,978
That's what he's doing.
Leave it to Q-Ball.

393
00:23:56,019 --> 00:23:57,229
<i>Friend of yours?
Please stand by.</i>

394
00:23:57,312 --> 00:23:58,981
Yeah, and of yours.
Let's go.

395
00:23:59,022 --> 00:24:00,399
Hey, whoa, whoa. Where
are you taking me?

396
00:24:00,482 --> 00:24:02,651
Far, far away. You mean,
like out of the city?

397
00:24:02,693 --> 00:24:03,819
At least. Come on.

398
00:24:03,861 --> 00:24:05,362
Lead on, baby cakes.

399
00:24:06,905 --> 00:24:08,448
I'll give you baby cakes.

400
00:24:08,532 --> 00:24:09,992
That's a feisty broad.

401
00:24:10,534 --> 00:24:12,995
I don't know exactly how to tell
you this. Especially considering

402
00:24:13,078 --> 00:24:15,873
that a woman's wedding day is supposed
to be the happiest day of her life.

403
00:24:15,956 --> 00:24:17,583
It grieves me to...
Put a sock in it, Colin.

404
00:24:17,666 --> 00:24:19,376
Let's just get
this over with.

405
00:24:19,459 --> 00:24:21,962
But that's what I'm trying
to tell you. I'm not Colin.

406
00:24:22,045 --> 00:24:25,799
I mean, I am Colin.
I'm just not your Colin.

407
00:24:25,883 --> 00:24:28,552
Now, is that the best that
you can do? Absolutely.

408
00:24:28,635 --> 00:24:31,138
You know, look, I don't want this
marriage any more than you do.

409
00:24:31,221 --> 00:24:33,015
But like it or not,
the corporate dynasties

410
00:24:33,098 --> 00:24:35,684
continue through our bloodlines.
It's a curse of birth.

411
00:24:35,726 --> 00:24:38,353
But that's what I'm trying to
tell you. I wasn't born here.

412
00:24:38,437 --> 00:24:40,439
I'm from
a parallel dimension.

413
00:24:40,522 --> 00:24:41,690
Have you been
drinking again?

414
00:24:41,732 --> 00:24:43,442
You know, I've
warned you about that.

415
00:24:43,525 --> 00:24:45,611
Look, I know
it's hard to believe,

416
00:24:46,486 --> 00:24:50,282
but my friends and I come from
one parallel world to another.

417
00:24:51,450 --> 00:24:53,535
Your Colin must be my
alternate on this world.

418
00:24:53,619 --> 00:24:55,662
Did you try that line
on your father?

419
00:24:55,746 --> 00:24:57,206
My father's dead.

420
00:24:57,289 --> 00:25:00,000
Look, you know, I know you
hate MacArthur, but really.

421
00:25:00,083 --> 00:25:02,419
I don't hate MacArthur.
I don't even know him.

422
00:25:02,503 --> 00:25:05,422
Besides, he seems to be trying
to do what is best for his family.

423
00:25:05,589 --> 00:25:06,632
And his son.

424
00:25:06,715 --> 00:25:08,050
He doesn't care
about you.

425
00:25:08,133 --> 00:25:14,223
His sole focus has been to create the
biggest corporate dynasty in the world.

426
00:25:14,264 --> 00:25:17,559
Indeed. And what an incredible
legacy to leave to one's children.

427
00:25:17,601 --> 00:25:19,269
My father tried
to do the same.

428
00:25:19,353 --> 00:25:22,856
Although a two-room cabin, four cows and
some chickens isn't much of a dynasty.

429
00:25:22,940 --> 00:25:24,858
All right, fine,
delude yourself.

430
00:25:24,942 --> 00:25:27,486
But some day the illiterate
serfs will be outside the gate

431
00:25:27,569 --> 00:25:30,364
and you will finally
understand what's going on here.

432
00:25:30,447 --> 00:25:31,824
Hey, look, it's too bad my counterpart

433
00:25:31,907 --> 00:25:34,368
can't fully appreciate
the value of the effort,

434
00:25:34,451 --> 00:25:38,038
or the value of having a
father still around to share it.

435
00:25:38,121 --> 00:25:39,581
But back to
the matter at hand.

436
00:25:39,665 --> 00:25:40,874
I have to find
my friends.

437
00:25:40,958 --> 00:25:42,668
All right,
forget your friends.

438
00:25:42,751 --> 00:25:44,670
Call in the lawyers.
Lawyers?

439
00:25:44,753 --> 00:25:47,923
Yes, they're in the hall.
Don't look so surprised.

440
00:25:48,215 --> 00:25:53,095
They must be present at the
consummation to verify the merger.

441
00:25:53,136 --> 00:25:54,137
You know that.

442
00:25:54,221 --> 00:25:55,639
Huh?

443
00:26:19,371 --> 00:26:21,999
Colin, come out of there.

444
00:26:24,918 --> 00:26:29,381
What is with you? I know for
a fact that you are not shy.

445
00:26:31,216 --> 00:26:34,803
You know, Bernie and Hal have
witnessed a lot of mergers.

446
00:26:36,388 --> 00:26:37,890
<i>Colin? I was gonna be the
only guest on this show today.</i>

447
00:26:37,973 --> 00:26:41,643
<i>This charlatan demeans
the very concept</i>

448
00:26:41,727 --> 00:26:43,770
<i>of inter-dimensional
voyaging!</i>

449
00:26:43,854 --> 00:26:46,815
<i>Yeah, yeah! All
right, hold it, hold it, hold it.</i>

450
00:26:46,899 --> 00:26:49,568
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
That's a point, Mallory.

451
00:26:49,651 --> 00:26:51,862
Come on, tell us. Are
you a charlatan, or what?

452
00:26:51,945 --> 00:26:53,280
No, no.
Okay, okay.

453
00:26:53,363 --> 00:26:57,242
The only reason I am here is to
be reunited with my companions

454
00:26:57,367 --> 00:27:00,162
so we can move from
this Earth to the next.

455
00:27:00,287 --> 00:27:03,457
Now, my timer states

456
00:27:03,540 --> 00:27:05,542
that I only
have 45 minutes.

457
00:27:05,626 --> 00:27:08,212
Listen, listen!
Now, my timer says

458
00:27:08,295 --> 00:27:11,924
that we have 45 minutes left
here before we slide.

459
00:27:12,007 --> 00:27:14,176
So Remmy,
Maggie and Colin,

460
00:27:14,384 --> 00:27:15,552
<i>please come down.</i>

461
00:27:15,636 --> 00:27:17,930
<i>Colin, come out of there.
You call that a timer?</i>

462
00:27:18,013 --> 00:27:19,473
Colin, get out.

463
00:27:19,681 --> 00:27:21,725
That's a timer.

464
00:27:23,227 --> 00:27:24,770
That's a timer.

465
00:27:25,145 --> 00:27:26,522
Get that
out of my face.

466
00:27:27,231 --> 00:27:28,565
You broke my timer!

467
00:27:28,649 --> 00:27:29,775
I'm sorry.

468
00:27:31,235 --> 00:27:32,361
Yeah, yeah, yeah!

469
00:27:32,486 --> 00:27:34,404
Look at this!
Come here, everybody.

470
00:27:37,866 --> 00:27:39,785
All right!
All right!

471
00:27:41,245 --> 00:27:42,955
Colin? Colin?

472
00:27:43,038 --> 00:27:45,040
Marley's ghost!

473
00:27:45,749 --> 00:27:48,001
Colin? Come on.

474
00:27:48,085 --> 00:27:50,462
Come on, Colin,
get out of there.

475
00:27:51,255 --> 00:27:53,465
Come on, Colin,
get out.

476
00:27:56,635 --> 00:27:57,761
Colin?

477
00:27:58,428 --> 00:28:01,306
Colin, come out of there.

478
00:28:02,182 --> 00:28:03,183
Colin!

479
00:28:05,269 --> 00:28:08,730
<i>Take your pick. A thousand
dollars off, or 3.9 percent APR.</i>

480
00:28:08,772 --> 00:28:11,984
<i>Hundreds of beautiful used cars
in stock, some with guarantees.</i>

481
00:28:12,067 --> 00:28:13,527
<i>Oh, great.
Everything must go.</i>

482
00:28:13,610 --> 00:28:16,321
We'll have to get another
cab, if we can find one.

483
00:28:18,198 --> 00:28:20,701
The Hilton runs an airport
shuttle every 30 minutes.

484
00:28:20,784 --> 00:28:23,537
Why would we go to the
airport? We're going to KKRP.

485
00:28:23,620 --> 00:28:25,873
And what's
with the smoking?

486
00:28:25,956 --> 00:28:27,249
Hey, you don't smoke.

487
00:28:27,416 --> 00:28:28,917
<i>3.9. What a deal!</i>

488
00:28:29,001 --> 00:28:31,962
Oh, yeah, that's right.
I don't smoke. Sorry.

489
00:28:33,630 --> 00:28:34,673
So do you think we can get a move on?

490
00:28:34,756 --> 00:28:35,924
I think we should
get to the airport.

491
00:28:35,966 --> 00:28:37,801
People might be
looking for us.

492
00:28:37,885 --> 00:28:39,344
<i>Okay, we're back...</i>

493
00:28:40,721 --> 00:28:45,726
So, Potts, you would have us
believe that you can dematerialize.

494
00:28:46,268 --> 00:28:51,064
That somehow the atoms in your
body vaporize into molecules

495
00:28:51,148 --> 00:28:55,194
which are then magically
transported to another plane.

496
00:28:55,444 --> 00:28:57,446
There's no
magic involved.

497
00:28:57,529 --> 00:29:00,491
I deatomize here, and I
reatomize somewhere else.

498
00:29:01,658 --> 00:29:03,619
Well, I'm sure we'd
all like to see that.

499
00:29:03,660 --> 00:29:05,704
Wouldn't you,
Mr. Mallory?

500
00:29:05,829 --> 00:29:09,249
I don't think you can
call what I do deatomizing.

501
00:29:09,791 --> 00:29:12,711
Okay?
I jump into a vortex,

502
00:29:12,794 --> 00:29:16,465
a wormhole that takes me through a
tunnel that leads to another dimension,

503
00:29:16,507 --> 00:29:17,633
another world.

504
00:29:17,716 --> 00:29:21,094
Well, I'm sure we'd all like
to see that, too, wouldn't we?

505
00:29:21,178 --> 00:29:23,347
Maybe you will, wise guy.
Maybe you will.

506
00:29:23,430 --> 00:29:24,473
Uh-huh.

507
00:29:28,769 --> 00:29:30,687
You know, R.J., I never thought
this day would ever come.

508
00:29:30,771 --> 00:29:32,606
I didn't think
my kid had it in him.

509
00:29:32,689 --> 00:29:34,775
But from now on,
the sky's the limit.

510
00:29:34,858 --> 00:29:38,278
Commemorative plates,
spoons, action figures.

511
00:29:38,570 --> 00:29:40,405
<i>Tomorrow on
the Lipschitz Book Club,</i>

512
00:29:40,489 --> 00:29:42,825
<i>our panel of reviewers are going
to take a look at the controversial</i>

513
00:29:42,908 --> 00:29:45,869
<i>new bestseller Satan:
What's the Big Deal?</i>

514
00:29:45,911 --> 00:29:48,372
<i>That's tomorrow on the
Lipschitz Book Club.</i>

515
00:29:48,497 --> 00:29:50,374
<i>We'll get back to these
nut bars in a minute.</i>

516
00:29:50,457 --> 00:29:53,544
<i>But first a news update from
the Lipschitz Action Desk.</i>

517
00:29:53,627 --> 00:29:55,337
<i>This just handed to me.</i>

518
00:29:56,088 --> 00:29:59,383
<i>A new age in American corporate
culture was born today,</i>

519
00:29:59,466 --> 00:30:02,803
<i>when the heirs to two rival
conglomerates were joined in matrimony.</i>

520
00:30:02,886 --> 00:30:06,640
<i>Colin Mallory of Infinicorp and
Roxanne Crane of Millenia Media</i>

521
00:30:06,723 --> 00:30:09,518
<i>were merged in a ceremony
at the Chandler Hotel.</i>

522
00:30:09,601 --> 00:30:12,354
I'm a free man!

523
00:30:13,689 --> 00:30:16,108
We've got the wrong Colin. Yeah.

524
00:30:16,191 --> 00:30:18,777
<i>Now, we have exclusive word that,
that merger is about to be consummated</i>

525
00:30:18,861 --> 00:30:22,406
<i>at this very moment, so we're going to
take our cameras live to the bridal suite</i>

526
00:30:22,489 --> 00:30:23,615
<i>at the Chandler.</i>

527
00:30:28,745 --> 00:30:32,374
<i>Oh. Okay, well, there seems
to be a delay in the action.</i>

528
00:30:32,416 --> 00:30:36,003
<i>But you can be sure when that
merger is about to be consummated,</i>

529
00:30:36,086 --> 00:30:39,131
<i>Lipschitz Live "is" going
to be there with our cameras.</i>

530
00:30:39,214 --> 00:30:41,675
And by the way,
I do smoke.

531
00:30:42,885 --> 00:30:44,553
Who the devil are you,
and where's our friend?

532
00:30:44,595 --> 00:30:45,679
Hey, get your
hands off me.

533
00:30:45,762 --> 00:30:48,807
Like the man said, Colin
Mallory married Roxanne Crane.

534
00:30:48,891 --> 00:30:50,475
And I hope
they'll be very happy.

535
00:30:50,559 --> 00:30:52,561
That was
supposed to be you.

536
00:30:53,270 --> 00:30:55,272
Yeah, well,
it's some other lucky guy.

537
00:30:55,355 --> 00:30:56,940
Your friend,
or whatever.

538
00:30:57,024 --> 00:30:59,776
How did you manage to get
him to take your place?

539
00:30:59,860 --> 00:31:01,695
I swear I had
nothing to do with it.

540
00:31:01,778 --> 00:31:04,573
It just happened.

541
00:31:04,615 --> 00:31:06,366
Maybe it's for the best. I
was trying to get out of it,

542
00:31:06,450 --> 00:31:08,744
and now he married
a great girl.

543
00:31:09,119 --> 00:31:12,289
Yeah. And from the way
I see it, a lot of money.

544
00:31:13,624 --> 00:31:16,251
Say what? Yeah. If our
friend takes your place,

545
00:31:16,335 --> 00:31:18,212
then he gets everything
you were going to get.

546
00:31:18,295 --> 00:31:19,296
And you get nothing.

547
00:31:19,379 --> 00:31:23,091
Yeah, well, maybe there's time
to change it back. Yo, taxi!

548
00:31:25,636 --> 00:31:26,970
How much time do you think we've got?

549
00:31:29,389 --> 00:31:31,308
Quinn said 45 minutes,
10 minutes ago.

550
00:31:31,391 --> 00:31:32,851
Which is not a lot of
time to hit the hotel,

551
00:31:32,935 --> 00:31:35,020
pick up our Colin,
dump this Colin off,

552
00:31:35,103 --> 00:31:36,563
and get to the studio
in time for the slide.

553
00:31:36,647 --> 00:31:38,649
Chandler Hotel, please.

554
00:31:40,317 --> 00:31:41,401
<i>You call that number,</i>

555
00:31:41,485 --> 00:31:45,280
<i>and you tell them Barry told you
this machine is the very best.</i>

556
00:31:45,322 --> 00:31:48,909
Hey, I've got something for
you on this special occasion.

557
00:31:48,992 --> 00:31:51,662
A William Shatner
novel. First edition.

558
00:32:03,173 --> 00:32:07,010
But isn't there something we've
been ignoring, gentlemen? Huh?

559
00:32:07,261 --> 00:32:11,265
Isn't there a big, burning
question that concerns all of us,

560
00:32:11,431 --> 00:32:13,934
when it comes to you
aliens, or sliders,

561
00:32:14,017 --> 00:32:16,687
or whatever you clowns
want to call yourselves?

562
00:32:17,104 --> 00:32:18,730
Huh? Isn't there?

563
00:32:18,981 --> 00:32:21,942
All right,
all right, all right.

564
00:32:22,025 --> 00:32:25,154
What about the swelling
welfare rolls, huh?

565
00:32:26,321 --> 00:32:31,243
That's right. What happens when one
of you space clowns breaks his leg?

566
00:32:31,326 --> 00:32:33,704
Who is gonna pay your
hospital bills, huh? Huh?

567
00:32:35,372 --> 00:32:37,916
All right,
wait a minute.

568
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:42,087
What happens when one of you
guys takes a high-paying job

569
00:32:42,171 --> 00:32:45,299
on this Earth?
Are you not, indeed,

570
00:32:45,382 --> 00:32:48,510
taking the bread
out of mouths of decent,

571
00:32:48,594 --> 00:32:50,846
hard-working Americans
right here?

572
00:32:50,888 --> 00:32:53,849
Huh? Huh?

573
00:32:54,391 --> 00:32:56,351
Yeah. All right,
hold it.

574
00:32:57,936 --> 00:32:59,479
We'll get back to that
subject in a minute.

575
00:32:59,563 --> 00:33:04,193
But first, these announcements about
upcoming shows on "Lipschitz Live. "

576
00:33:09,615 --> 00:33:11,909
I was just
bird-watching.

577
00:33:11,992 --> 00:33:13,994
Oh, my God.

578
00:33:15,245 --> 00:33:17,789
It seems to me your father and
MacArthur Mallory are most insistent

579
00:33:17,873 --> 00:33:21,210
that this consummation
take place.

580
00:33:21,293 --> 00:33:22,586
Are you hurt?

581
00:33:22,669 --> 00:33:26,924
Only my pride.
And maybe this ankle.

582
00:33:28,592 --> 00:33:30,886
I'm sorry to have
spurned you.

583
00:33:31,970 --> 00:33:33,222
I hope
you're not insulted.

584
00:33:33,263 --> 00:33:36,391
Believe me, it's
nothing personal.

585
00:33:36,475 --> 00:33:39,061
I think you're
very beautiful.

586
00:33:39,311 --> 00:33:43,357
And any man would be
honored to merge with you.

587
00:33:44,566 --> 00:33:46,568
You really are
different, aren't you?

588
00:33:46,652 --> 00:33:50,572
So I've been told by more
people than you realize.

589
00:33:50,656 --> 00:33:53,367
Look, I'm sorry to have
put you through this.

590
00:33:53,450 --> 00:33:56,745
But you just look
so much like him.

591
00:33:56,829 --> 00:33:57,996
Then you believe me?

592
00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:00,999
Well, I'm not sure I buy this
whole parallel world story.

593
00:34:01,083 --> 00:34:04,503
But I have never known Colin
Mallory to turn down sex,

594
00:34:04,795 --> 00:34:07,673
and I've never seen him display this
sort of feelings towards his father

595
00:34:07,756 --> 00:34:09,675
that I have seen in you.

596
00:34:09,758 --> 00:34:10,968
Then, will you help me?

597
00:34:11,051 --> 00:34:13,720
I have to get somewhere,
and I haven't got much time.

598
00:34:13,804 --> 00:34:16,098
What's your hurry?
Stay with me.

599
00:34:16,139 --> 00:34:18,392
You know, being rich
is a pretty good deal.

600
00:34:19,351 --> 00:34:22,062
But I'm not your Colin.

601
00:34:22,145 --> 00:34:24,523
I know.
But I like you better.

602
00:34:25,148 --> 00:34:26,817
You're very sweet.

603
00:34:26,900 --> 00:34:30,028
You're much like Colin was
maybe eight, 10 years ago.

604
00:34:30,654 --> 00:34:32,406
I'm flattered.

605
00:34:32,489 --> 00:34:37,161
Unfortunately, I think you
might find me inadequate.

606
00:34:37,578 --> 00:34:42,457
I'm not very experienced.

607
00:34:43,333 --> 00:34:46,128
I was counting on that.

608
00:34:46,712 --> 00:34:49,631
And I have
other obligations.

609
00:34:51,717 --> 00:34:53,260
<i>I was utterly perplexed.</i>

610
00:34:53,343 --> 00:34:56,471
<i>I had never seen a wormhole
go unstable before...</i>

611
00:34:56,555 --> 00:34:59,892
That's my brother. And I must
get to him as soon as possible.

612
00:34:59,975 --> 00:35:00,934
Can you help me?

613
00:35:01,018 --> 00:35:03,812
<i>Because of this world's
extensive television system.</i>

614
00:35:03,896 --> 00:35:06,815
<i>Sure. Come on.
The RF radiation</i>

615
00:35:06,857 --> 00:35:09,359
that was emitted
in the EM spectrum

616
00:35:09,443 --> 00:35:12,404
totally threw off the magnetic
anchoring point of the wormhole,

617
00:35:12,488 --> 00:35:15,657
therefore sending us into
a state of spatial flux.

618
00:35:20,204 --> 00:35:22,706
Did I mention that I met
the female version of myself?

619
00:35:24,374 --> 00:35:28,712
Oh, hey. Did you have sex with her?

620
00:35:31,507 --> 00:35:35,177
Did you?
Yeah? Yeah?

621
00:35:35,219 --> 00:35:37,095
Yeah!

622
00:35:37,387 --> 00:35:38,430
Did you?

623
00:35:41,433 --> 00:35:44,186
Now, well, that's more like
the happy couple that I know.

624
00:35:44,269 --> 00:35:45,812
So, where are
you two off to?

625
00:35:46,146 --> 00:35:47,523
Station KKRP.

626
00:35:48,232 --> 00:35:50,025
What on earth for?

627
00:35:51,401 --> 00:35:53,529
To buy it.
Yeah.

628
00:35:53,612 --> 00:35:56,073
We realized there are still
a lot of independent stations

629
00:35:56,114 --> 00:35:58,200
that have not yet
joined our empire,

630
00:35:58,283 --> 00:36:02,037
so we thought we'd buy KKRP as
a wedding present to each other.

631
00:36:02,621 --> 00:36:05,707
Good thinking. Son, I
had you figured all wrong.

632
00:36:05,916 --> 00:36:09,253
Hey, why don't you guys take
the limo and go in style?

633
00:36:09,336 --> 00:36:11,839
And while we're at it, I
think we'll buy that channel

634
00:36:11,922 --> 00:36:14,883
that shows nothing but
science fiction programming.

635
00:36:15,133 --> 00:36:16,927
Come along, dear.

636
00:36:21,223 --> 00:36:23,934
<i>The guy's a phony!
The guy's a phony!</i>

637
00:36:24,017 --> 00:36:26,478
<i>You can't astral-project
in a sweater vest!</i>

638
00:36:26,812 --> 00:36:30,607
<i>Maggie, Colin, Remmy!
Come down to KKRP right now!</i>

639
00:36:30,691 --> 00:36:32,651
<i>He's a phony!</i>

640
00:36:32,734 --> 00:36:34,903
<i>Don't go away.
I'll be right back.</i>

641
00:36:34,987 --> 00:36:36,280
<i>You watch Lipschitz.</i>

642
00:36:36,363 --> 00:36:39,324
<i>You never miss an episode, you think
you've seen it all, the flying chairs,</i>

643
00:36:39,408 --> 00:36:41,952
<i>the transvestite cat fights,
the on-stage shoot-outs,</i>

644
00:36:42,035 --> 00:36:46,707
<i>but you haven't seen it all "until
you've seen" Lipschitz: Too Hot for TV.</i>

645
00:36:46,790 --> 00:36:49,710
<i>A never before seen...</i>

646
00:36:54,214 --> 00:36:58,427
<i>...plus the infamous comedian
episode. You haven't seen Lipschitz...</i>

647
00:36:58,468 --> 00:36:59,595
Keep the change.

648
00:36:59,636 --> 00:37:01,638
<i>...until you've seen
Lipschitz: Too Hot For TV.</i>

649
00:37:01,722 --> 00:37:03,265
<i>Order your own
copy for only...</i>

650
00:37:05,767 --> 00:37:07,936
What's going on?
Who is this guy?

651
00:37:07,978 --> 00:37:09,563
Where's Roxanne?
Colin, so help me,

652
00:37:09,646 --> 00:37:10,772
if this is another
one of your half-baked...

653
00:37:10,856 --> 00:37:12,482
Where are they?
Who?

654
00:37:12,566 --> 00:37:14,026
Roxanne and
that imposter.

655
00:37:14,109 --> 00:37:15,360
Imposter? What are you talking about?

656
00:37:15,444 --> 00:37:16,778
They're not here.

657
00:37:16,862 --> 00:37:19,406
The bridal suite is empty,
but that crazy talk show is on.

658
00:37:19,490 --> 00:37:20,782
Then Colin must've
got the message.

659
00:37:20,824 --> 00:37:23,410
Great. So it looks like he'll make
the slide. The question is, will we?

660
00:37:23,494 --> 00:37:24,495
We need a car now.

661
00:37:24,578 --> 00:37:25,579
I'm taking the limo, Dad.

662
00:37:25,662 --> 00:37:27,414
I just gave you a limo so you
could buy a television station.

663
00:37:27,498 --> 00:37:29,541
That wasn't me.
I don't understand.

664
00:37:29,625 --> 00:37:30,918
That was your Colin's
exact duplicate.

665
00:37:31,001 --> 00:37:33,170
Actually, it was our Colin,
and we want him back.

666
00:37:33,253 --> 00:37:35,547
And I want Roxanne back.
And the money, too.

667
00:37:35,631 --> 00:37:36,757
Look, we could
take a cab.

668
00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:38,050
No, no, no,
I don't take cabs.

669
00:37:38,133 --> 00:37:39,343
We'll buy another limo.

670
00:37:39,426 --> 00:37:40,677
Perfect.

671
00:37:41,470 --> 00:37:43,388
All right, so let me get this straight.

672
00:37:43,472 --> 00:37:46,016
Now, you moved
an entire population

673
00:37:46,141 --> 00:37:48,894
from one world to
another? No. Not exactly.

674
00:37:48,977 --> 00:37:51,146
That would be going
against the Prime Directive.

675
00:37:51,230 --> 00:37:54,608
You can't travel to other worlds
and interfere with their cultures.

676
00:37:54,691 --> 00:37:56,193
What are you
talking about?

677
00:37:56,276 --> 00:37:57,778
There is no
Prime Directive.

678
00:37:57,861 --> 00:37:59,238
Maybe that's
in your universe.

679
00:37:59,321 --> 00:38:03,158
There are strict rules to
inter-dimensional behavior.

680
00:38:05,536 --> 00:38:07,287
You are really starting
to piss me off!

681
00:38:07,371 --> 00:38:08,872
Hey! Are we loving this? Oh, yeah?

682
00:38:08,956 --> 00:38:11,458
Come on, let's hear it
for them, huh? Huh?

683
00:38:19,758 --> 00:38:22,302
Excuse me.
Excuse me.

684
00:38:22,386 --> 00:38:24,054
Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.

685
00:38:24,137 --> 00:38:26,139
Oh, good grief!
Excuse me.

686
00:38:26,223 --> 00:38:28,058
Excuse me. Can I see
your producer, please?

687
00:38:28,141 --> 00:38:30,811
Can I help you?
I produce "Lipschitz Live. "

688
00:38:30,894 --> 00:38:32,187
Yeah, let us in.
We own this show.

689
00:38:32,229 --> 00:38:34,273
Which means
we own you.

690
00:38:34,356 --> 00:38:35,899
Wait, aren't you...

691
00:38:35,983 --> 00:38:37,609
The big merger, today?

692
00:38:37,693 --> 00:38:41,405
Yeah, Colin Mallory, corporate
magnate. And this is my mergee.

693
00:38:41,488 --> 00:38:44,074
Oh, oh, go right in. I'm sure
Barry will want you on the show

694
00:38:44,158 --> 00:38:45,951
right after
these sliders.

695
00:38:52,749 --> 00:38:54,084
So how much time,
you think?

696
00:38:54,418 --> 00:38:56,378
Less than 10.

697
00:38:57,212 --> 00:38:59,173
That's pushing it.
Mmm-hmm.

698
00:39:01,216 --> 00:39:02,551
Not getting cold feet,
are you, son?

699
00:39:02,634 --> 00:39:05,053
I never really got along
with Roxanne's family.

700
00:39:05,137 --> 00:39:07,139
And frankly,
she hates me.

701
00:39:07,639 --> 00:39:09,391
Hate?
That's a harsh word.

702
00:39:09,433 --> 00:39:11,727
Resentment is
probably what she feels.

703
00:39:11,935 --> 00:39:13,145
Besides, this is business.

704
00:39:13,228 --> 00:39:15,230
You don't have to get along with
people you're in business with.

705
00:39:15,314 --> 00:39:17,065
That's what it's all about. Business.

706
00:39:17,149 --> 00:39:20,861
Somehow, I always thought when
I got married, it would be, well,

707
00:39:20,944 --> 00:39:21,987
more romantic.

708
00:39:22,070 --> 00:39:23,405
Romantic?

709
00:39:23,489 --> 00:39:25,491
You been talking
to your mother again?

710
00:39:28,869 --> 00:39:29,870
All right,
let me ask you this.

711
00:39:29,953 --> 00:39:33,373
How much time
until your next slide?

712
00:39:33,624 --> 00:39:35,083
I have got
a minute and change.

713
00:39:35,167 --> 00:39:36,835
How about you,
disco ball boy?

714
00:39:36,919 --> 00:39:39,880
Oh, I'll be
moving on shortly.

715
00:39:40,797 --> 00:39:44,009
Oh, so you're gonna slide
away, too, huh, Potts?

716
00:39:44,343 --> 00:39:46,261
I prefer the term
astral projection.

717
00:39:50,516 --> 00:39:51,683
Excuse me, people,
coming through.

718
00:39:51,767 --> 00:39:55,312
Important people. Move it.
Come on, toots, shake a leg.

719
00:39:55,479 --> 00:39:57,231
Where's the producer?

720
00:39:57,314 --> 00:39:59,316
I'm Colin Mallory.
I own this place.

721
00:39:59,399 --> 00:40:01,318
We've already got
a Colin Mallory.

722
00:40:01,401 --> 00:40:02,402
What are you talking about?

723
00:40:02,486 --> 00:40:03,987
I'm the real one.

724
00:40:04,071 --> 00:40:06,573
Will you just let us in?
I can explain everything.

725
00:40:06,990 --> 00:40:08,200
Well, almost everything.

726
00:40:08,283 --> 00:40:11,954
If you really want a show, why
not have another Colin Mallory?

727
00:40:12,037 --> 00:40:15,791
Listen, this is Colin
Mallory's identical twin.

728
00:40:15,874 --> 00:40:19,545
Kidnapped at birth.
Raised by dolphins.

729
00:40:19,670 --> 00:40:21,964
Just let us in.

730
00:40:22,130 --> 00:40:24,466
All right, all right,
all right. Go, go right in.

731
00:40:32,850 --> 00:40:35,394
What is this?
You'll see, freak.

732
00:40:35,519 --> 00:40:38,397
Thanks for believing
in me and helping me.

733
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:40,774
I really do wish
you were my Colin.

734
00:40:40,941 --> 00:40:44,486
I do, too.
In a way.

735
00:40:50,701 --> 00:40:52,119
I gotta go.

736
00:40:56,206 --> 00:41:00,627
Folks, seriously, I am leaving
in less than a minute, alone.

737
00:41:00,711 --> 00:41:03,714
And I just would like to say goodbye.

738
00:41:05,132 --> 00:41:09,094
To my friends,
to my brother.

739
00:41:09,178 --> 00:41:10,345
I'm coming
with you, bro!

740
00:41:10,387 --> 00:41:13,140
Hey, hey, who's this?
Another slider?

741
00:41:13,223 --> 00:41:16,143
Hey, Q-Ball.
Don't leave without us, bro!

742
00:41:19,563 --> 00:41:23,025
What do we have here? We
have a weirdo slider reunion!

743
00:41:23,066 --> 00:41:26,695
Hey, how about that! Those
crazy sliders. I tell you.

744
00:41:28,906 --> 00:41:30,532
Hey.
Yo.

745
00:41:31,617 --> 00:41:33,744
Hey,
it's a "Lipschitz" first!

746
00:41:46,673 --> 00:41:48,926
Colin!

747
00:41:49,927 --> 00:41:51,637
Roxanne, I...

748
00:41:51,720 --> 00:41:52,804
That's his other brother?

749
00:41:54,014 --> 00:41:55,891
Hey, what's with Colin
and the gold?

750
00:41:55,974 --> 00:41:58,810
Oh, it's a long story.
I'm getting married.

751
00:41:59,228 --> 00:42:04,024
Five, four, three,

752
00:42:04,107 --> 00:42:09,238
two, one, zero.

753
00:42:18,205 --> 00:42:19,414
Oh, man,
I can't believe this!

754
00:42:19,498 --> 00:42:20,541
Hey, come here, guys!

755
00:42:31,468 --> 00:42:33,887
Cheese and crackers.

756
00:42:57,494 --> 00:43:00,622
They said it couldn't
happen, but it did!

757
00:43:00,664 --> 00:43:03,250
Trans-dimensional travel!

758
00:43:03,333 --> 00:43:06,295
Four people transported
from one plane to another.

759
00:43:06,336 --> 00:43:08,839
And you saw it
on "Lipschitz Live!"

760
00:43:11,341 --> 00:43:12,676
Amazing.

761
00:43:15,179 --> 00:43:17,222
So, can we get this
marriage contract changed?

762
00:43:17,306 --> 00:43:19,600
I think so. The lawyers didn't
witness the consummation.

763
00:43:19,683 --> 00:43:22,060
Hey, there was
no consummation.

764
00:43:22,603 --> 00:43:23,604
Was there?

765
00:43:24,563 --> 00:43:26,648
You didn't do anything with
that guy, did you, Roxanne?

766
00:43:26,732 --> 00:43:28,275
No.

767
00:43:28,525 --> 00:43:30,027
Then, can't
we get married?

768
00:43:30,110 --> 00:43:31,570
I hope so.

769
00:43:35,324 --> 00:43:38,911
But is this really
a happy ending?

770
00:43:39,077 --> 00:43:41,497
Stay tuned and find out,
because this young lady

771
00:43:41,580 --> 00:43:44,500
could be married to an
alien in another dimension.

772
00:43:44,541 --> 00:43:46,960
What happens if that guy comes back?

773
00:43:47,044 --> 00:43:48,962
There's only
one way to find out.

774
00:43:49,046 --> 00:43:52,925
You gotta keep watching
"Lipschitz Live!" Come on!

Ecrit par Profilage 

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LaFriteFan, Hier à 21:17

Ma maman me dit que je suis encore en pleine croissance vu que je mange 5 fruits et légumes par jour et que les produits laitiers sont mes amis

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Enfaite c'est Supersympa qui t'engueule a chaque fois ar tu mange pas les 5 fruits et légumes + les produits laitiers

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Jack Bauer est un guignol !^^

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Et oui, ma maman c'est supersympa xD

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